whatever happened to the good, old-fashioned roman-esque / greek pantheon of gods?
yeah i know christianity has the whole 3-in-1 combo thing going… like a shamrock or a BLT.
you got the bacon, the lettuce and the tomato, but it’s all really one sandwich.
but does that really compare to a 5-course meal of the pantheon?
i think not.
if you’re hungry for religion would you prefer a lunchtime snack or the whole shebang?
how can a sandwich compare to a roast ruler of all, the shrimp cocktail starter of love, the soup that reaigns over death, the twin desserts of comedy and tragedy, the coffee of trickery and the cajun-style chicken of fate?
with a pantheon there are so many tales of political backstabbing, infighting and conquests.
gods that play a super-chess with mortal heros as pawns, each jostling to become the main course.
with a single combo god all you’d get is schizophrenia.
i mean sure… he’s all portable like a swiss army knife, great for camping when you can’t take everything… but you try cut firewood with that tiny little saw.
the pantheon is akin to a toolbelt of dieties.
each god specialized in its sphere of influence. the wrench goddess for tightening nuts (goddess of love?), the plane god of smoothing wood (god of nature?), etc…
and in the old pantheons people got to sleep with gods and beget hybrid children.
how awsome must sex with a god be?
“did the earth move for you too honey?”
“yes dear… i’m the goddess of earthquakes and disasters!”
“oh… right… wanna go again?”
whereas the sandwich god is a cold fish. even his son was immaculate conception.
jeez… way to show a woman a good time there.
and the stories…
pantheons had great tales of heros and villans, cyclops’ and dragons, muses and mysteries.
what does combo-god number 5 have? the da vinci code… and they don’t even accept that.
man. which is more impressive to you: a god that has a champion who’s 1/2 man, 1/2 god. a veritible titan, impervious to damage except for his weak spot.
or a god that has a champion that got nailed to a cross, died, came back and then ran away?
they don’t make religion like they used to.
it’s a lost art.
i’d like to see a religion created by true masters:
a conglomerate of stephen king, william gibson, stan lee, terry pratchet, and warren ellis.
not that would be a religion i’d like to read about!