frott through the heart, and you’re to blame… you give love a bad name.

August 31, 2006

i got frotted this morning.

In psychiatry, the clinical term frotteurism (no longer called frottage involving rubbing against a nonconsensual person to achieve sexual arousal or even orgasm, discreetly without being discovered, typically in a ) refers to a specific sexual disorder. It is a paraphiliapublic place such as a crowded train. <from wikipedia>
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vegetables and liars

August 30, 2006

something i hadn’t thought about before (here) but our <sarcasm>fantastic</sarcasm> health minister is breaking the law with her idiotic claims about veggies. you see, the problem is that her claims are unproven and “…any claims of therapeutic effectiveness made without clinical trials and approval by the Medicines Control Council were illegal.” also “anything considered therapeutic should be registered for that purpose, and people have to submit proof that it is therapeutic….[a]nd until that is done, you cannot go onto public fora and claim that it is therapeutic.

the medical proffesion already says that diet is important, but not as important as ARVs. without a good diet you’ll have a real shitty time on ARVs and probably not last as long. without the ARVs you’ll die (well… die a lot quicker).

so next time you see miss potato-head advocating her veggies overall other treatment (does she own an african potato farm or something?) remember this: that’s yet another goverment official lying to us and breaking the law (blatantly) without fear of retribution.

you have to love a country this corrupt. it’d make a great setting for the next doom game: researcher on mars accidently open a portal to what they thought was hell and their facilities were run over by criminals and corrupt government officials. As the lone surviving marine you’ll adventure through a martian research facility torn apart by lawlessness while battling squatters and misinformation every step of the way.

and just in case you thought miss potato-head’s veggie medely was actually good and just not proven: read this and this.

it looks like some good hearted researchers have had a look at the african potato and garlic and their effects on HIV patients. guess what: not good! not good at all.

In terms of the African potato (hypoxis plant), a study conducted into its safety and efficacy had to be terminated because most of the patients who had taken the extract had shown severe bone-marrow suppression.” – don’t we need our bone marrow? well i guess if you’re going to die soon then you don’t need it all that much (and if you’re on manto’s diet you will be dying soon).

ok… so the anti-AIDS mash potato is off the menu then. what about garlic? garlic has been used since the dawn of time for all sorts of things like pizzas, getting rid of unwanted relatives with bad breath, and various other medicinal purposes. that’s got to be good for HIV sufferers right?

wrong!

While Visser acknowledged that garlic has been used for medicinal purposes for 5 000 years, it had been found that when the extract interacted with some anti-Aids drugs, it reduced their effectiveness [and] some forms of garlic damaged stomach membranes and caused an increase in bleeding time in some people, while onions increased gastrointestinal discomfort.

dear sweet baby god of mankind in a stable full of donkeys! not even onions? what the fuck is up with that?

well basically what has been said here is this: manto is lying! in fact she might be trying to kill you if you have HIV (and make you gassy if you also like onions).

if i were in some sort of law enforcement agency that actually worked (ie: not one in SA) i’d order a forensic audit of manto to make sure she doesn’t own any garlic packing factories, african potato or beetroot farms, or shares in any olive oil or lemon juice manufacturers. maybe she’s just getting a little cash on the side to try boost sales of veggies.

maybe she’s the patron saint of greengrocers?


the cul de sac of life

August 29, 2006

life’s meant to be about the journey and not about the destination right? well guess what: when you’re driving in a car the journey is not about the journey… it’s about the destination, and if you want to get there alive don’t drive like an asshole!

below the cut is a story about the asshole drivers i’ve had to deal with recently. before we get ther a couple of interesting links:

some guy dropped his ipod in the plane toilets and got interrogated as a terrorist for it… (total waste provides link)

and tachikoma robots :) the spider-like robots from ghost in the shell – someone has actually made a little one that runs on batteries. i want one. (thanks moonflake for the link)

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refry!

August 26, 2006

well i’ve crossed over…

i’ve finally been dragged into wordpress due to the opening of the thurteem blog.

i needed a username so i just went with the whole thing. what can i say… i’m a sucker for “free!”

so i’ll give this a testdrive for a bit and see what it’s like. ive already spotted one minor problem that i’ll try fix: wordpress assumes that every new line is a start of a new paragraph…

in my opinion paragraphs should be started by 2 presses of the enter key (ie: a single blank line) with 1 press resulting in just a line break and not an entirely new paragraph.

this is especially annoying for me beacause my writing style means i’ve got paragraphs all over the place :(

well… whatever! maybe my writing style will change, maybe your reading style will change, but either way lets talk about food!

if you’ve been reading my posts recently then you’ll know that i had “bird & beads” for lunch/supper (lupper? sunch?) yesterday.

well tonight i try the refry! since there’s loads of leftover rice (it was spicy spanich… a flavour reminicent of a porn title) i’ve decided to attempt the impossible: refry the rice in the fatty residue of cooked pork bangers!

of course this means that i’ll have to start off by cooking pork bangers, but a fryup is a fryup. i forsee no real problems with that (famous last words?).
as for refrying: i think i heard that you can do that sort of shit with rice. i know there’s a mexican dish (frijoles?) that’s basically refried beans. and bubble and squeek if refried leftovers. and rice is kinda like the bean of the rice plant / tree / weed / thing (what is a rice plant refferd to as anyway?).

since its kinda a rehash of a bunch of recipes i shall create its name from a rehash of all of those names while also giving it that zesty, overpriced-coffee-shop spin.

bujoles bang! (pronounced: buh-hole-ess bang!): a sumptiously double-prepared serving of delicious, spicy spanish rice soaked in the rich juices of the accompyaning peppered pork bangers.

read: leftover rice (i hope it doesn’t burn) with out-of-the-freezer bangers all fried together in an artery-clogging mess.

i wonder what i’ll do with the leftovers of this meal?

can you re-refry something?

you’d think i’d look up recipes on the internet since i can follow “back of the pack” instructions so well… but i live dangerously. you’ll never know when my cooking will kill me (either through poisoning or because it’s been “remade” so often that its come back to life).


you can’t eat binary

August 25, 2006

cooking has always been a kind of binary system to me in the past.
you see, either there was someone there to cook for me (i love you moonflake;) or there was someone willing to take money from me and give me cooked food.
microwave tv dinners do not count as cooking in my opinion. neither does opening a packet of chips or making a sandwich. (otherwise we’d have a trinary, quadary, or quintary systems and that’s just weird)

of course we’re not talking metaphorical cooking here, otherwise i can really cook if you know what i mean *wink* *mac-face* “how you doing?”
ok… maybe i’m not quite the metaphorical chef either, but the point here is: barring a few pancakes and some omlettes, i’ve never really needed to cook.
first i was living with my parents, then i was making enough money not to need to cook, then i moved in with moonflake…
then moonflake got sent overseas for a couple of weeks…

since moonflake knows me well (she should do by now) she made me promise that i’d make myself food from the freezer.
you see my laziness outweighs my hunger on most occasions. i don’t cook not because i don’t know how, but because i’m too lazy to try (plus: i do the dishes).
having friends who buy you chip & cheese occasionally doesn’t help my cooking skills either (thanks james:)

but the more astute of you will have noticed the phrase “in the past,” in the first sentence of this post.
that’s right folks. i’ve mastered the art of reading the back of the box of some frozen, crumbed chicken pieces.
they were hot, but cooked properly.
i may even attempt to make some more for lunch today.
i may go as far as making some sort of accompanying side-dish.
we have some of that microwave rice stuff…
i’m sure i can handle reading the instructions on that packet.

the more i think of it, the more cooking is like ordering from the menu at a restaraunt.
only this menu makes you run around and set timers and things.
it’s kinda like being the customer and the waiter all rolled into one…
well my waiter is not getting a tip unless i get some garnish or sprinkles of stuff and drizzles of sauce like they do in restaruants where there’s more sauce and sprinkles than food.
well.. actually i suppose it’s like being the customer and the cook since i don’t really take my own orders (yeah. i’m crazy like that!).

note: i say “cook” not “chef.”
if i was a chef i’d do more of the drizzles and sprinkles (is it just me or does that sound like something you shouldn’t be doing near food preperation?) and i’d probably have a french accent.
maybe i’ll upgrade to chef status after i make some rice.
then i’ll be using 2 appliances at the same time to create a unique dining pleasure: chicken and rice.

hmm… that needs a name with more flare.
chook and grain? nah… too auzzie slang.
foul and pilaf? nah… not catchy enough.
bird ‘n bead! yes… it’s got that catchy sort of name used by trendy little coffee shops that charge far too much for the simple lunches they serve and hire the most annoying waiters. luckily for me i don’t have to deal with the waiter (i hope i don’t spit in my food though.)

bird ‘n bead: tender, succulent chicken breasts grilled to perfection and perfectly complimented by a generous helping of taste-tastic brown rice.

read: frozen chicken pieces warmed up in an oven with however much rice comes in a bag. the chicken will hopefully be cooked as long as the “chef” follows the intructions and the rice will be whatever flavour is in the cupboard. the “chef” probably won’t screw it up. good luck. be warned all ye who order here!


the pressure

August 24, 2006

i feel a need to blog
the only problem is that my blogging attitude seems to be going through a phase of dissatisfaction at the moment.
this blog has gone through a couple of variations in the past and probably will go through many more.

its been a kinda diary thing
its been a source of odd news
its been a rant page
its been a humour column
its been various permutations and combinations of the above
there have been pictures and trivia

the problem i have now is: where do i go from here?
currently i find my hobbies (the bountifull plethora of them) to be running short of time. this means i have to prioritise things and recently i haven’t had anything good to blog about.
normally the prioritisation tires me out and i need a nap.
in fact napping often takes a very high priority.
i must be getting old.

it just seems like my available time is always inversly proportional to my required time.
i really don’t feel like coding at 04h30 in the morning again.
i wake up with my eyes feeling like pieces of coal after nights like that.

so what’s next?
i don’t know… things’ll probably be a little sporadic.
i may do the diary thing again.
who knows?
i guess you’ll just have to stay tuned!


note:

August 23, 2006

synkronos is blogging again.